Relationship & Couples Counselling
Relationships will always have ups and downs. This is completely normal.
Don't believe those Hollywood Movies that portray a perfect marriage or the couple down the road who look to have the perfect relationship. There is no such thing!
Sometimes our relationships will encounter difficulties and blockages that leave us feeling confused, lost and ready to give up. This doesn't mean that they aren't good or that you shouldn't be together.
There is nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed by in asking for help and guidance. So before giving up, why not see if some support will get you back on course with your happy future together.
What is relationship / couples therapy?
Couples therapy is no different from individual therapy. You and your partner will talk to a therapist in a safe place, where you will both be given opportunities to express your feelings. Relationship problems arise when the communication has broken down or been lost. Receiving support from a therapist will allow you to re-establish that communication and resolve the issues that are causing conflicts.
Can you fix my relationship?
Couples therapy requires both parties in the relationship to put equal effort in, for it to be successful. In most cases, one party will be hesitant or reluctant to seek help, believing they can resolve things themselves. A therapist is there to support and guide you both to make changes and communicate more effectively. It is essentially down to both parties in the relationship to administer the fixes themselves.
What can therapy do that we cant ourselves?
Your therapist will listen to both parties and support you both in finding solutions to problems you have been unable to fix. Through expert training, the therapist is able to recognise common patterns that all relationships face and provide a non-judgemental space for you to discuss what has been affecting you both. When couples fight or argue, things can be said that cause our defences to prevent us from listening to each other. Having a therapist present will help to remove these defences.
Do I need individual therapy alongside couples therapy?
It is recommended that both parties undertake individual therapy, however this will be dependent on what the issues are for each individual and the relationship itself. By completing individual therapy, both parties will be able to gain a better understanding of their own issues and give them more to discuss during the couples sessions.
Wont the sessions result in arguing or more fighting?
The sessions may have elements of arguing, but this will be in a safe environment with your therapist taking control if need be. You will learn that arguing doesn't mean shouting and fighting, but a way of dealing with conflict resolution and problem solving together.
Will the therapist take my side over my partners?
The therapist isn't there to take one persons side or the others. Doing this would create an unbalance in the session and leave one person feeling bullied. This could also lead to arguments of one party not wanting to attend sessions.
The therapist will help both parties in the relationship to gain a better understanding of their partners needs and feelings.